Satan: [appears]
Satan: You can have anything you wan--
Me: LANGUAGE.
Satan: What?
Me: GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE.
Satan: What the--?
Me: YOU SAID ANYTHING. GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE IN THE WORLD.
Satan: Wouldn't you rather have love or money?
Me: EVERY. LANGUAGE. MASTERY OF EVERY LANGUAGE. NOW.

hemmsings:

I wish I was skinny enough to wear crop tops and skinny enough to wear nice skirts that show off your legs and skinny enough to look pretty in pictures and the clothes that I buy but I’m not and it frustrates me to the point where I want to cut off my fat with worn out safety scissors and sit under my bed and listen to celine dion music until I fall asleep in my own tears

prenons:

Prince George receives a giant stuffed wombat from Australia’s Governor General. 
In other news, George and the Wombat sounds like an excellent new children’s book series.
lazylunatic:

awwww-cute:

Rehabilitating penguins wearing sweaters

What are they rehabilitating from? Were they drug addicts? Alcoholics? No one knows

nickfuckface:

parents: “u should be more active”
me: image

pink-vulva:

reasons i want to look GOOD 

  • for myself
  • for myself
  • to plant the seed of envy in other bitch’s hearts
  • for myself